the philosophy of decisions (a post for myself and anyone who wants to listen)

there is ambiguity. shades of gray, spots of gleaming white light, abrupt black lines 0f varying thicknesses crisscross the patchwork gray once in a while. With all of these bland, muted monochromatic shapes which make up our world, it is easy to understand how making clear decisions would be impossible. We struggle with ourselves to do what's right. Sometimes, we're lucky and we come out better in the end. Sometimes, we're not so lucky. Is it luck that forces our decisions: are we just guessing and hoping? do we really know? these questions ring through my mind because i'm sitting here wondering whether i've made some unlucky choices, or whether, knowingly, i made bad choices.
Maybe i'm hoping that my own choices aren't what brought me to this point. This point where i'm looking back, wondering where i'd be if i had made different choices. Or is it fate that i'm sitting here writing this down? i don't know. What i do know is that my choices are made, they are past already. My future choices will either be fate or accident, or they will be clear choices an dwhere i end up, is where i'm supposed to be.